“He promised me that I would change. However, kept hitting me. ” Perhaps this phrase is recognized by many, as part of the circle of domestic violence, in which an abusive husband verbally and physically aggravates, then regrets.
He then promises that he will change and the woman has the hope that he will, but rarely happens.
“Battered women stay because they like it”. Is it true?
It is just a myth, totally false, and this is explained by the psychologist Patricia Tejeda, who says that no human being likes to feel outraged or humiliated with blows that threaten her life.
There are many women who search for ways to “how to be a better wife to their husband” in spite of having no fault in them.
There are many elements for which a woman decides to remain in a relationship despite the violence.
Many would think that there cannot be a reason so powerful that it enslaves it to a harmful relationship of being with an abusive life partner.
However, it is a mistake, ”says the doctor who works at the Ministry of Women and who gave us ten reasons that explain this type of decision:
10 reasons why women are a slave to an abusive husband
Hope. The belief that one day the aggressor will change.
This leads many women to be abused by their partner to forgive and believe in their spouse.
The doctor explains that forgiveness is granted with the hope that the episode of violence will not be repeated.
Little self-esteem. When a woman’s own esteem is lower than normal, her thoughts are aimed at failure, with fears that will cause her to remain in a violent relationship.
On many occasions, they think about going out but then, verbal aggressions in which their partner tells them that they are inferior, cause those exit plans to reverse.
Economic dependence When the woman is economically tied to the man, and does not have a trustworthy person or a relative to help them, she usually remains in a relationship of violence.
To this is added the lack of educational preparation and that some do not have a job that allows them to support their children in case of detachment from their partner.
The fear they will say. There are many women who continue in a violent relationship because they have been married to that man for a long time and fear that their families, neighbors and friends will say if they separate.
This also affects the silence and fear of reporting it to the authorities. There is also the factor of shame.
Ignorance of their rights. Dr. Tejeda acknowledges that it is pity that in the 21st century there are many women who do not know their own rights vis-à-vis men and who are trampled by them.
He indicates that because of this ignorance when they are in a relationship of violence, they think that nobody can help them, not even knowing that there are many institutions that protect women in case of domestic abuse from their partner.
Children. The children are one of the main causes for which the woman decides to remain in a relationship of violence.
Since they strive to preserve the union of their family so that their children are raised together with their father.
Psychological pressure. ¨If you let me I swear that I kill myself, ”.
This is just a sample of the verbal threats that women receive under intrafamily abuse that delays their progress towards the exit door of a harmful relationship.
The doctor explains that some manifest sadness and they believe that their partners will commit suicide if there is a separation.
But that it is only a psychological pressure that the man exerts on the woman so as not to be abandoned.
As a result, the woman may experience depression, fear, anxiety, isolation, passivity, sadness, feelings of guilt, low self-esteem, sleep disorders, high blood pressure, gastritis, aggressiveness, impotence, and insecurity.
Unsafety. The fear. It is a cause that identifies the abused woman. He fears for his life and that of his children and other relatives.
Emotional attachment. A woman is emotionally tied to the man when she thinks she will not find a better one or that she is not a woman enough to start a new life with another partner.
Religious beliefs. Some women do not break the bond with the aggressor because they believe that God is responsible for placing them at that point and only he can get them out of that situation.
Many follow a religion, they got married by the church, they run into abuse by the man who swears to love and respect her for a lifetime and find no way out of that situation.
Then they resign themselves to expecting God to change their situation.
But you have to break these 10 bonds because a woman who does not leave a relationship of violence can lose her life.
What is the first step to being taken to stay away from abusive life partner?
In the first instance, the woman resorts to receiving psychological help, advice that will make her regain her self-esteem after the woman takes refuge in a place where the abusive husband cannot find her.
In this order, he explains that the Women’s Ministry has shelters that allow them to take refuge from their abusive husband with their children if they have them.
What to do to access shelters in case of domestic violence?
Women who have been subjected to violence, threats of violence or similar crisis in relation to family or cohabitation are entitled to stay in a women’s crisis center.
The women can be accompanied by children and receive care and support during their stay.
It is the shelter manager who decides on admission and discharges from the shelter.
The conditions for residence in women’s crisis centers are described in more detail in section 109 of the Service Act.
Men who have been subjected to violence in close relationships, threats of violence or similar crisis in relation to family or cohabitation can apply to stay at a man crisis center or hostel.
At men’s crisis centers, fathers have the opportunity to have their minor children with them. The conditions for residence in man-crisis centers and hostels are described in more detail in section 110 of the Service Act on temporary residence in forms of housing for persons with special social problems.
SOCIAL ALERTS ON CHILDREN AND ADOLESCENTS UNDER 18
If one becomes aware of or has reason to believe that a child or young person under the age of 18 is subjected to violence or lives in a home with violence, one is obliged to notify the child or young person’s municipality of residence of his or her concern.
The obligation to notify is a personal duty that applies to both professionals and ordinary citizens.
The obligation to notify comes into effect when, as a private or professional person, a concern arises for the development or well-being of a child or young person, which means that the child or young person may need special support.
Among other things, it states that it is not a condition for filing a notification that there is a certainty that, for example, violence has been committed against the child.
There may be a suspicion of this, or there may be a case of the child or adolescent witnessing domestic violence, the child/adolescent being subjected to psychological pressure or similar conditions which may cause concern as described above.
Finally, women need to learn a trade or job that allows them to sustain themselves economically apart from being mentally distracted to forget the harms they have suffered through their abusive husband and to begin a decent life again.